I don’t generally rant online…this is actually the first time I have really ranted actually. I am having a hard time understanding how a 200 level class can be so stressful. How I can be studying for only that class and totally failing the tests. Literally, What the FUCK! This class has made me so stressed and I study for it so much that I have nightmares about the class and wake up in the middle of the night crying. It seems all I do is study, it has become a full time job to study for this one class and I am not even getting paid. I have also been drinking a lot more this semester I blame this class and also I have no idea how to deal with the terms of having to quit something. Quitting just is not something that I was ever given the option to do growing up. Therefore, I drink to clear my head when I am this stressed because I do not know what else to do as a coping technique. Seems kind of funny considering I am a Psychology major and I still feel like I am trying to figure this whole think out of why I do what I do and what experiences have lead me to where and who I am today.
I am going to have to drop this class. At least it will be better than an F but still I feel sick.
I dropped to class and my head is spinning and I feel like I am going to vomit. I feel like a failure. Like I will never be able to be successful because I could not get through this 200 level class. However, I have taken 300 level classes and done really well. Still what if I do not get in to a grad school next year? What I am I going to do with my life?
I went to my favorite psychology professor now. I feel a bit better about getting in to grad school. Sometimes she is a better support and person to vent to than my parents. That is a bit of a long story.
I am feeling better about my classes for next semester and I have my classes laid out and I went over them with my professor. Now I just need to take my GRE and get applying to grad schools.
BIBOMO (Breathe in breathe out move on)